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Does ‘Star Wars: Episode VII’ kill off Han Solo?

Say it ain’t Solo

With a new installment of “Star Wars” due out this December, theories about sneakily leaked intensity spoilers have been drifting around a Internet like a mutated YT-1300 light freighter. Of march they all have to be taken with a pellet of Alderaan dirt since J.J. Abrams will conjunction endorse nor repudiate such reports, observant usually that “There are a ton of rumors — some true, some false,” that is totally not useful during all. Do, or do not, J.J.!

But there’s one intensity storyline causing a forceful disturbance: a probable genocide of Han Solo.

In this please-say-it-ain’t-so scenario, Han would be killed by a Sith Lord Kylo Renn. (Or maybe by crashing a WWII-era Ryan Aeronautical ST3KR.) The speculation developed from Harrison Ford’s possess matter in 2010 that he suspicion Han should have died in a strange trilogy anyway, though George Lucas — and maybe Greedo — wanted him to survive. Personally, we don’t wish to live in a made-up universe where a brave, handsome, made-up impression like Han dies. Is his pending-long-long-ago genocide severely exaggerated? That’s my usually hope.

D(r)unk?

It was Earth Day final Wednesday (although really, shouldn’t each day be Earth Day?), and in respect of a occasion, a Maryland-based National Security Agency — yes, everyone’s favorite Big Brother — denounced a new mascot for a recycling program, anticipating to inspire kids in internal schools to recycle … or die!! OK, not that final part.

Anyway, a NSA’s mascot is named Dunk (which seems some-more suitable for a NBA) and it’s a talking, smiling, bright-blue recycling bin with feet and robust arms. He resembles a blue SpongeBob, though doesn’t seem utterly so innocent. In fact, his appearance has been deemed “creepy” on amicable media, with comments suggesting his designers were drunk, or observant a NSA will now guard your rabble for militant missives.

Dunk is indeed creepy. He’s approaching examination we in your sleep. Just like a NSA.

Fatal error

Don’t we hatred when your mechanism freaks out, charity usually a ominous “fatal error” message? One man in Colorado Springs incited a tables on his device final week, hauling his tough expostulate out to a behind alley and sharpened it. Eight times. Execution and/or Elvis-style.

According to a Colorado Springs Gazette, “The mechanism is not approaching to recover,” and military cited 37-year-old Lucas Hinch with discharging a firearm within city limits, observant Hinch had been fighting with his mechanism for several months and finally used a handgun to “disable” it.

I’m observant a mechanism shot first.

— Angela Hill, staff

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